Michele Bachmann wants to kick the planet in the nuts, and she’s running for president
Michele Bachmann, the lunatic Minnesota representative who's come out against everything from minimum wage to evolution, is apparently planning to throw her hat in the ring for 2012. OMG OMG OMG I can't wait! You thought Sarah Palin was a goldmine for snark enthusiasts? Palin is downright complex by comparison. This will be like shooting fish in a Finding Nemo fanfiction forum.
To help you stretch your mockery muscles for the long campaign ahead, here are our favorite Bachmann quotes about the environment:
On the Arctic National Wildlife Refuge: "I came away with the idea that this would be the most perfect place on the planet to drill."
On saving the planet: "[Pelosi] is committed to her global warming fanaticism to the point where she has said that she's just trying to save the planet. We all know that someone did that over 2,000 years ago, they saved the planet — we didn't need Nancy Pelosi to do that."
On global warming: "It's all voodoo, nonsense, hokum, a hoax."
On the secret green agenda: "They want Americans to take transit and move to the inner cities. They want Americans to move to the urban core, live in tenements, [and] take light rail to their government jobs. That's their vision for America." [Editor's note: Oh noooooooooooooo]
On carbon dioxide: "[T]here isn't even one study that can be produced that shows carbon dioxide is a harmful gas. There isn't one such study because carbon dioxide is not a harmful gas, it is a harmless gas. Carbon dioxide is natural. It is not harmful. It is part of Earth's life cycle. "
On Michele Bachmann's fitness to evaluate anything: "I just take the Bible for what it is, I guess, and recognize that I am not a scientist, not trained to be a scientist. I'm not a deep thinker on all of this. I wish I was. I wish I was more knowledgeable, but I'm not a scientist."