Pepper spray is also a vegetable now, according to Fox News
Pepper spray is "a derivative of actual pepper … a food product, essentially," said Fox News host Megyn Kelly. Seriously guys, it's not assault, it's just a pepper! Oh-ho, condiment puns! We can all have some fun about what happened at UC Davis, because after all the cop just lightly seasoned these students with a delicious food mist.
Of course, pepper spray isn't actually "a derivative of pepper," which makes it sounds like it comes from the stuff in your shaker. It's made from capsaicin, the compound that gives hot peppers (different!) their painful properties. It's five times hotter than the hottest natural pepper, and it can damage corneas, close airways, irritate stomach linings, cause respiratory failure, and potentially kill people. But, you know, go ahead and put that on your lunch if that sounds like "food" to you, Megyn.