If I told you that my cross-over dribble was better than Stephen Hawking’s, would you build an NBA franchise around me?

If I told you I was better looking than Ernest Borgnine, would you pick me as the leading man for your movie?

If I told you that my lifestyle makes Iggy Pop look like a heroin junkie, would you let me babysit your kids?

Peabody Coal is hoping that all those arguments play in their new ad, trying to make the case that the public should support coal with CCS: Clean Green Coal (PDF), touted as “less expensive than natural gas with CCS.” Also less expensive than nuclear! And wind!

Setting aside whether even those claims are true, that’s a heck of an admission of failure — it’s not even attempting to claim that coal with CCS is cost-effective; just that it’s cheaper than more expensive things. Which is sort of like fantasizing about Bea Arthur because she so much hotter than Estelle Getty.