“Understanding food labels you might encounter at Whole Foods”:

Natural: Pretty much everything is natural, including this sentence. What makes it natural? The fact that it has the word “natural.”

Your support powers solutions-focused climate reporting — keeping it free for everyone. All donations DOUBLED for a limited time. Give now in under 45 seconds.
Secure · Tax deductible · Takes 45 Seconds

Stories like this don’t tell themselves.

Make others like it possible. Your support powers solutions-focused climate reporting — keeping it free for everyone. Give now in under 45 seconds.
Secure · Tax deductible · Takes 45 Seconds

Conventional: Conventional says, “I love the system,” and we’re not even sure why you’re shopping here. You don’t want paper or plastic — you have a bag made of the skin of a clubbed infant seal.

Local: This is food grown by local farmers who dislike you because you’re living in the subdivision that used to be prime farmland owned by their grandparents.

To support our nonprofit environmental journalism, please consider disabling your ad-blocker to allow ads on Grist. Here's How

Read the rest — if you like laughing.