Jehovah’s Witnesses. Two of them just knocked on my door. I mention it because they had a brochure detailing their version of “creation care.” I told them I was happy to see more Christian sects beginning to interpret Bible passages in an environmentally positive manner. “Oh no,” they assured me. “We aren’t environmentalists.”

I was fine with that. I don’t admit to being an environmentalist outside of the right circles either. I then volunteered the fact that I am atheist in outlook, which tends to greatly excite proselytizing religionists. I always politely engage these folk when they show up, not in hopes of opening their minds, but purely for the entertainment value, which I admit isn’t the nicest thing to do.

I asked if they knew how many sects of Christianity there are (2,400). I explained that this endless splintering is the result of different biblical interpretations. I mentioned that it has been proven statistically that there is no deity imparting favors to select bipedal primates. I asked if they were aware that 666 is a biblical typo (one of many, the real number is probably 616 found in an older version of a manuscript in an ancient Egyptian dump), and on and on.

One of them finally conceded that the other Christian sects have indeed interpreted some Bible passages to suit their own purposes. However, they have the right interpretations, and no those interpretations have never changed. They have always believed that those who destroy the Earth are sinners. Off they finally went, slightly less comfortable than when they arrived, but the feeling will pass and no harm will have been done.

I hope this works out for the best. There is something wrong about having Pat Robertson on your side. The problem is that we don’t have many answers yet and it is unlikely that religion will lead to any. I can just hear Robertson now, “God told me to drive an American made flex fuel SUV. Priuses are the work of the devil.”

If many are to be guided by biblical interpretations instead of science, maybe science can at least give some guidance to the authority figures who will be doing that interpreting.