Dave Letterman’s Top Ten Dumb Guy Ideas For Lowering Gas Prices:

10. Make all roads downhill.
9. Cheaper self-service price if you pump the oil and refine it yourself.
8. Gas comes from dinosaurs, so all we need are more dinosaurs.
7. Invade Iraq.
6. Give Cheney a sawed-off shotgun and have him stick up an Exxon.
5. Tax cuts for the rich.
4. Get Bush and the Middle East to straighten everything out on Oprah.
3. Jet packs for everyone.
2. Gas only costs 12 cents a gallon in Venezuela; drive to Venezuela for gas.
1. Get tubby genius Al Gore to figure it out.

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