I’m in D.C. for the holidays, so I have the pleasure of reading the Washington Post in its entirety, instead of just sporadic links.

I can report back to the rest of the U.S.: rest easy. You are not missing much.

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Stories like this don’t tell themselves.

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Robert Novak rings in some Christmas cheer with an op-ed, “Losing it to to the greens.”

Apparently, thanks to “environmentalists’ well-financed propaganda operation,” there are supporters for carbon legislation in even the Bush administration, and industry is “utterly helpless” and “utterly clueless as to how to respond.”

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So unfair, with all the cards stacked up against industry that way. Tell you what, Mr. Novak, environmentalists are nothing if not fair — and what the hell, it’s Christmas — so here’s what we’ll do.

We’ll swap budgets with your industry pals.

Yes, I know, it seems almost suicidally generous, but we wouldn’t want to win unfairly. We’ll take Big Oil, Big Coal, Big Utility, and Big Auto’s dough, and you and your friends can laugh all the way to the bank on Sierra Club’s famous riches. I’ll even throw in Vote Solar’s private island as a personal gesture of apology.