Thank goodness! I really need to cover up the stench of pine needles and fresh dew.

This product may be a perfect metaphor for the modern condition: It’s an air freshener that will fill your TV room with chemical compounds that mimic the scent of the national parks, so you can experience a simulacrum of fresh air without ever having to go outside. Hooray for the future!

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Actually, as far as I can tell, these air-freshening products aren’t even meant to smell LIKE national parks; they simply “capture the spirit of our nation’s pristine treasures,” which apparently means “smell like a Yankee Candle Company.” The “spirit” of Acadia National Park, for instance, is “sweet vanilla and pumpkins.” So … it’s a Starbucks pastry trapped in the body of a 47,000-acre nature preserve?

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