1. I’ll stop the world and belt with you

    Dear firemen, the way you swing those big, thick hoses around really gets us steamy. But now that you’ve finished spraying, do you mind helping a sister out? We could really use a tighter grip around our hips.

  2. Ramblin’ man

    Naturally, we’re all for going au naturel in nature, but what rubs us the wrong way about this concept is the issue of chafing. Unhappy trails, anyone?

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  3. Cream of the crop

    “Still productive, older farm acreage seeks young, vigorous farmer for long- or short-term relationship. Must enjoy outdoors, dirty fingernails, and fresh food.”

  4. Roadquill

    From street meat to wrist wear, Canadian porcupines are being converted to jewelry pieces — once they hit the road, that is. Lookin’ sharp!

  5. Rack ’em up

    To foods in season, turn, turn, turn. And once you get to the farmers market, turn your wheels in to a bike valet. We’ve never helmet a better idea!

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