Dearest Gristmillers,

 

UmbraUmbra Fisk here, writing to inquire whether you’ve seen any of my Grist colleagues.

I spent the last few weeks in my usual spot in the basement, working on a series of columns about eco-friendly foodstuffs, pausing only for the occasional bite of locally grown fiddlehead fern. Finished at last, I rushed up the five flights of stairs to turn in the copy.

But the place was nearly empty. The people, the computers, the desk, the 2005 and 2006 Best Magazine Webby awards — all gone. Unaccountably, all that was left was a brand new unicycle.

I know it’s been tough up there lately: bad news about melting icecaps, Grizzly-Polar-Care Bear hybrids, etc. Also, it’s very, very crowded (why do you think I fled to the basement?). Still, I’m not quite sure where they’d go.

Let me know if you see them. You’ll recognize them by the kenaf notebooks, furrowed brows, and quick wordplay. Also, one of them is carrying a suitcase stuffed with cash — though apparently not nearly enough. The fundraising guy, Michael, muttered something a few days ago about needing $60,000, having only half of it, and desperate times/measures. I was on deadline, and wasn’t paying close attention. Now I wonder.

Umbra on unicycleIn addition to keeping your eyes open, maybe you could also open your wallet, and relieve some of Grist‘s financial strain. Send 50 bucks by 11:59 p.m. PDT tomorrow, June 23, and I tell you what: I’ll put you in a drawing for this nifty Kris Holm Unicycle. I’m finding it too challenging to both pedal and fork fiddlehead at the same time, so this one-wheeler can be yours.

Unbalanced,
Umbra

P.S. The one nice thing about working in the basement is easy access to the storage closet. And do you know what’s in there? A beautiful Calfee Design bike made of gleaming, sustainable bamboo. Send us $100 and I’ll put you in a drawing for it. Or send $50, and I’ll give you a chance at one of these 24 pairs of Miōn shoes. They’re waterproof — handy as sea levels surge!

P.P.S. There is more than one way to give, so pick your pleasure: check, PayPal or credit card.