Remember this?


This was Glenn Beck’s worst nightmare. Sustainable planned communities were going to destroy our future, he feared.

But over the past few weeks, Beck seems to have had a change of heart. He’s now promoting his own Independence, USA, a “city-theme park hybrid” to be located somewhere in Texas with abundant “craftmen and artisan” small businesses and stores, a working ranch “where visitors can learn how to farm and work the land,” an innovation center, and dedicated mixed-income housing.

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Hold on to your hats, though, folks, because Beck is not alone. The dense green community idea is catching on among the right-wing crowd, and these people even use some of Beck’s dreaded key words.

The Citadel, a sort of castle-themed survivalist compound planned for the eastern mountains of Idaho, will have a dense town center and farmers market. The fortress aims to protect residents in part by “physical preparedness to survive and prevail in the face of natural catastrophes — such as Hurricanes Sandy or Katrina.” Calling all green-minded fans of The Games of Thrones: Homes will be made of poured concrete “for exceptional durability,” and may have those cute little windows for shooting arrows out of.

However, the website declares:

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Marxists, Socialists, Liberals, and Establishment Republicans may find that living within our Citadel Community is incompatible with their existing ideology and preferred lifestyles.

It’s kind of not though — the design hews pretty close to the core tenets of smart growth. But it also kind of is, because the Citadel’s main purpose is “preservation of liberty,” i.e. having all of the guns.

Not sure which eco-friendly neo-libertarian planned community to choose? Gawker has a breakdown of each community’s salient points, and declares Independence the winner (maybe because Beck also plans to include that theme park).

Has everything you thought you knew about political ideologies and lifestyles been destroyed now? I’m sorry. But if the right is going to run away to delusional Disneylands, they might as well be dense and livable, right?

And if they’re going to fill those places with guns and plop them in the boonies way the hell away from the rest of us, I’m not complaining.

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