Burning Man 2004 was like so righteous, man.
Aaron LoganBurning Man 2004 was like so righteous, man.

Mother Nature Network has a somewhat appalling post title: “No, we can’t burn people for electricity.” Wait. Was someone suggesting that? WHO WANTS TO SET PEOPLE ON FIRE? Oh. Dead people. Well, that’s a little more … NO. Don’t burn dead people!

Passing the mic to Mother Nature Network:

The concept of using humans as an alternative energy source serves as a plot point in the novel “Agenda 21” by conservative commentator Glenn Beck, but the notion is fiction. The human body is about 65 percent water and it requires a tremendous amount of heat to vaporize the water and get the corpse burning.

Oh. Glenn Beck. OK then.

Headlines like “Burning deceased humans will produce electricity” are just another example why you shouldn’t believe everything you read. Yes, a crematorium in Durham, England, and a few in Sweden are being used to generate electricity or steam heat. But those are simply examples of recycling.

So THAT’S what people were reading when I was checking out Neil Patrick Harris’ amazing opening number at the Tonys!

In fact, cremation requires about the same amount of energy as someone uses in a whole month, so it’s not exactly the next solar or wind. Don’t burn people, don’t eat people, and remember to floss. It’s as simple as that.