Burning Man 2004 was like so righteous, man.

Aaron LoganBurning Man 2004 was like so righteous, man.

Mother Nature Network has a somewhat appalling post title: “No, we can’t burn people for electricity.” Wait. Was someone suggesting that? WHO WANTS TO SET PEOPLE ON FIRE? Oh. Dead people. Well, that’s a little more … NO. Don’t burn dead people!

Passing the mic to Mother Nature Network:

The concept of using humans as an alternative energy source serves as a plot point in the novel “Agenda 21” by conservative commentator Glenn Beck, but the notion is fiction. The human body is about 65 percent water and it requires a tremendous amount of heat to vaporize the water and get the corpse burning.

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Oh. Glenn Beck. OK then.

Headlines like “Burning deceased humans will produce electricity” are just another example why you shouldn’t believe everything you read. Yes, a crematorium in Durham, England, and a few in Sweden are being used to generate electricity or steam heat. But those are simply examples of recycling.

So THAT’S what people were reading when I was checking out Neil Patrick Harris’ amazing opening number at the Tonys!

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In fact, cremation requires about the same amount of energy as someone uses in a whole month, so it’s not exactly the next solar or wind. Don’t burn people, don’t eat people, and remember to floss. It’s as simple as that.

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