The Onion’s green issue is out, and it’s a doozy — from eco-junkies recycling (“If you come across an old needle lying around, by all means, use it”), to crediting Working Assets’ long-distance with the planet’s survival, to an opinion piece by a smokestack (“Soon, my tummy starts to feel full. And when I feel like I can’t hold any more, out pop the wonderful clouds!”). They even get in a poke at Steven Johnson!