Witness the humiliation as this distinguished professional is forced to … my God, I can barely say it … ride a bike to work. Do something, State Farm! Anything!

"You know that place where you’re swapping four wheels for two? Oh, man, I’m there."

Says Streetsblog: "Yeah, I know that place. It’s called a city."

Grist thanks its sponsors. Become one.

UPDATE: State Farm has pulled the ad.