1. Size does matter

    Fingering the Hummer H2 is so last year. The latest trend in Hummer humiliation? Video of die-hard haters humping the gas guzzlers. If a picture’s worth 1,000 words, this specimen is infinity squared. (Safe for work, but only if your boss has a sense of Hummer humor.)

    Photo: ihumpedyourhummer.com

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  2. Damn those special effects

    Drought-stricken Brits have walloped Woody for being wasteful. Seems the angst king was using tap water as a stand-in for rain on the set of his next film. That’s crazy! It’s as if you used your ex-lover’s adopted daughter as a stand-in for a wife! So he’s switched to seawater instead.

    Photo: Tomos Brangwyn / WireImage.com

  3. Her name was Lola, she was a penguin

    If you think you’re hot, imagine what it’s like for the 100-plus penguins stranded on Rio’s beaches after the ice floes they were lounging on floated up to Brazil and melted. They’re gettin’ an airlift back to Antarctica, but they’ll never be able to un-see those old men in dental-floss thongs.

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    Photo: iStockphoto

  4. Get a load of this

    It’s not like we listen to the Pretenders, but if we did, we’d reference their song about doing laundry on a Saturday night. Because it’s not like we ever do laundry on a Saturday night, but if we did, we’d want to do it at a huge-mongous, solar-powered Laundromat.

    Photo: iStockphoto

  5. Drink to me only with thine ice

    Some say the world will end in fire, some say in ice-cold beer: industrious Greenlanders are making ales from their ailing ice caps. And our newest, bestest, thoughtfulest friends in Wisconsin are brewing gluten-free New Grist. (Can we get our free case now?)

    Photo: Greenland Brewhouse