The "sarcophagus" that encases the site of the Chernobyl nuclear disaster was only ever supposed to be temporary, but it's been left in place for 25 years. It's no surprise that the thing could crumble if you looked at it funny (and a LOT of people look at it funny). So a new containment structure is in order, and this time they are not f*cking around: It's going to be a giant metal shield with Teflon wheels and robot arms.

It's hard to build a box around something you shouldn't really spend time near, like say a radioactive nuclear reactor whose casing could crumble if you look at it funny. So the gigantic new housing will be built elsewhere, then slid over the existing ruins on Teflon bearings. How big are we talking? Oh, only so big that the Statue of Liberty could use it as a beach cabana, that's all.

Once it's in place, robotic arms inside the structure will dismantle the old ruins and clean up remaining radioactive dust. Because nothing says "security" like robot arms picking their way through radioactive material.

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