IHOPCourtesy of IHOPMan, I sure could use a cheesecake sandwich right about now. But instead of bread on either side of the cheesecake, I want pancakes. And then I want to top it with strawberry compote and whipped topping. And because that probably won’t be enough, let’s tack on eggs, hash browns, and bacon on the side. Unfortunately, this is no dream (or grodie nightmare).

Not to be outdone by KFC’s disgusting Double Down (that’s two fried chicken breasts instead of a bun, with bacon and cheese in between), IHOP’s stepped up with its own answer to the question, “How can we keep Americans fat?” Pancake Stackers, a crustless cheesecake sandwiched by pancakes—for a limited time, thank goodness, according to ads.

No word on the calorie count for the new cheesecake-pancake sandwich, but the company’s regular Pancake Stackers combo (no cheesecake in between and with all the sides mentioned above) tops out at 1,250 calories, more than double the Double Down, which is 540 calories.

So cheesecake sandwich for breakfast, Double Down for lunch, and what for dinner? Here’s one idea:

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