Do you have a surplus of humanely raised meat from your DIY slaughter? Alternately, have you been trying to go vegetarian but can’t quite shake the cravings? Either way, these instructions on making your own beef jerky briefs have you covered. Barely covered.

The jerky shorts are mainly made of ground beef and Slim Jims, plus assorted spices (we may be wearing meatpants but we’re not savages). They’re perfect for the protein enthusiast, the backyard farmer, or anyone who wants their butt licked by tigers.

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