If you need any 70-year-old waterlogged lard, some just washed up on a beach
As all non-vegetarians know (and most vegetarians know but try to ignore), baked goods taste way better with real lard. And ocean-soaked baked goods from the 1940s taste better with ocean-soaked lard from the 1940s. Which is perfect, because some of that just showed up on a Scottish beach.
The barrel-shaped chunks of lard that washed up at the St. Cyrus nature reserve in Angus, Scotland seem to have come from a World War II merchant vessel. They’ve been in the water for 70 years while the barrels they were in rotted away around them, but the lard pieces were still bright white and “smelled good enough to have a fry up with,” according to reserve manager Therese Alampo. Nobody’s tried, of course, though apparently dogs have been “enjoying” it (not sure if that means eating, peeing on, or both — you never can tell with dogs).
This isn’t even the first time lard has washed up on this very beach. Some showed up during the 1940s, maybe around the same time this lard was getting sunk. And more lard beached itself in the ’60s, because evidently there’s something about St. Cyrus that attracts wandering lard like a magnet. So if you want to give your retro ladyfingers the appropriate 1940s flair, we recommend going and hanging out in Scotland for 20 to 50 years until it happens again.