Of course, you only eat organic CSA vegetables, beef you’ve been introduced to by name, and pork hand-reared by a little girl named Fern. But if you want to make a small anthropological study of how people who enjoy chain-restaurant burgers feel about perfectly cooked fries and bacon, well … here, for your enjoyment, is a pure distillation of fast food bliss. With Auto-Tune!

Now, will you be joining us at Kale Shack like usual? No? Huh, well, see you after lunch, I guess.