Listen, at the rate we’re going, we need to start thinking about what we’ll eat post-apocalypse. Lore has it that Twinkies will survive, but they’re gross — surely there’s a way to actually get adequate nutrition in a Mad Max hellscape? Maybe without even reverting to cannibalism? “Fact or Fictional” host Veronica Belmont and her guest Darya Pino Rose think there is. They put together a wholesome salad of lentils, foraged weeds, and a soupçon of dead bugs for nutritious post-apocalypse haute cuisine.

And here’s the recipe, from Rose’s blog Summer Tomato:

1 c. lentils
1/2 c. quinoa
3 radishes, roots and leaves
2 salad turnips, roots and leaves
1 large handful of purslane or other weed
1 small spring onion
20 crickets
20 wax moth larvae
2 tbsp salad oil (olive oil is perfect)
1 tbsp vinegar (red wine vinegar if you can find it)
Salt to taste

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Boil lentils in salted water until tender, approximately 25 minutes. If you do not have a fine mesh strainer, use the pot lid to keep the lentils in the pot while straining off the water.

If you have another pot, boil the quinoa until soft and drain similarly, approximately 15 minutes.

While your lentils and grains are cooking, clean your root vegetables and separate the leaves from the roots. Cut the radishes and turnips in half, then slice thinly and place in a large bowl. Pull the leaves apart with your hands into smaller, bite-sized pieces and add to the bowl.

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Rinse the purslane, shake dry and tear into bite-sized chunks. Both the leaves and stems are edible, so nothing needs to be discarded.

Thinly slice entire onion and add to the bowl.

Toast the crickets and moth larvae in an un-oiled pan for approximately 1-2 minutes, then lightly salt.

When the lentils and quinoa are finished cooking, add them to the vegetables and mix well. Dress with the oil and vinegar and stir again. Gently fold in the salted insects, serve and enjoy.

“Gently fold in the salted insects.” Has a more appetizing phrase ever been written?

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