Growing herbs in your backyard or on your roof is all very well and good, if you have a backyard or a roof. But what if you live in a shitty little apartment that doesn’t even have a balcony? Well, assuming you have things like tables and chairs, you can take inspiration from these prototypes to turn them into thriving indoor gardens. (If you don’t have things like tables and chairs, you are probably some kind of forest creature, and you should just plant seeds in piles of your own excrement until whoever owns the apartment comes home and shoos you.)
This installation by artist Jenna Spevack features cabinets, chairs, tables, desks, and suitcases kitted out as “microfarms.” The tiny gardens have their own grow lights, and are seeded with microgreens like mustard and chard. Spevack’s farm furniture isn’t mass-produced, but would-be armchair gardeners should be able to make their own pretty easily with salvaged furniture, lights, and drainage pans.
Then there’s the awesome “picNYC table,” by New York architect Haiko Cornelissen. (I’ve actually eaten breakfast at this one, because I’m friends with Cornelissen’s wife, full disclosure blah blah.) The steel table is topped with living grass, so you can have the feel of an outdoor meal without ants, sunburn, or random naked ladies. You can’t buy this one either (I WISH), but skilled makers might be inspired by the idea.
And finally, if you totally missed the point and are now all excited to build a garden that doubles as furniture, here are some age-old instructions for making a grass couch. This one starts with 120 cubic feet of dirt, so unlike the table, it should probably only be attempted outside. Unless you really are a forest creature.