OK, Holland, we get it! You have all the nice things! Organic food, cool little local shops, bikes, green energy. Way to rub it in.

Yes, we still drive cars! Yes, we are jealous! No, we don’t have a minimum of $1,079 to spend on a round-trip ticket from New York to Amsterdam sometime in the next six months. You are going to have to enjoy your food and shops and bikes on your own. Thanks for setting such a good example, but we’ll keep working on getting more of those things over here, in New Amsterdam. (And the rest of the country, too.)