Remember the pig that stole 18 beers and fought a cow? With heavy hearts, we must inform you that he’s gone to swill brew and get pugnacious in the Great Sty in the Sky.

The feral pig, apparently named Swino by the locals, snatched three six-packs from campers in Port Hedland, Western Australia, and once he was hopped up on liquid courage he got rowdy with a bovine. That’s what we reported back in September, but Swino didn’t stop there. He kept pinching campers’ cold ones, and saddened onlookers must have known it was only a matter of time before tragedy struck — before Swino lost his job, or alienated his friends, or got arrested for public drunkenness, or any of the other ways in which you can hit rock bottom if you’re an alcoholic who’s NOT a pig. At very least, you had to figure that cow would catch up with him in the end.

But what did him in was drunk driving. Swino himself was not behind the wheel — friends must have taken away his car keys and opposable thumbs — but he was found dead, likely hit by a truck, and let’s face it, he was probably drunk. Fiona Findley of the Main Roads Department (basically, the transportation department) expressed sorrow because “we had hoped he could become our mascot,” but in my opinion, he still can — as a cautionary tale for what can happen if you mix with cars while intoxicated. Cars or cows.

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