Imagine waking up in a hotel in Africa, dangling your feet sleepily off the edge of the bed, and having them both bitten off by a crocodile. That’s not quite what happened at the Humani lodge in Zimbabwe, but IT COULD HAVE, because Guy Whitall spent the entire night on top of a crocodile — including letting his feet hang inches from the creature’s snout. Making you check under the bed for monsters doesn’t sound so silly now, does it, MOM?

The eight-foot, 330-pound Nile crocodile evidently had quite enough of human intrusions into his territory, and decided to intrude right the hell back. It crawled out of the Turgwe River and made itself at home under a bed, where Whitall blithely slept the entire night with his dangerous bunkmate, not finding out about its presence until breakfast the next morning. Whitall told the Daily Mail, “The really disconcerting thing about the whole episode is the fact that I was sitting on the edge of the bed that morning, barefoot and just centimeters away from the croc.”

Let this be a lesson: Let’s preserve natural habitats so that terrifying prehistoric animals with giant teeth don’t have to come room with us. Also, always go to bed in steel-toed boots.

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