You probably learned at an early age that sheep say “baa” and goats say … well, actually, I don’t know what goats were supposed to say. “Maa,” maybe, or “pass the delicious tin can,” or “hail Satan.” Anyway, it turns out that this was yet another way in which your parents and teachers tried to insulate you from the barbarity of the world, because in fact goats either scream like horror-movie victims or shout “BAA” all aggressively like a shitty actor pretending to be a sheep. Well, and one of them makes a noise that kind of reminds me of Mrs. White from Clue.

I think the last one may be fake (right? It’s fake, right?), but I don’t really care, because this is one of the funniest animal videos on the internet. In fact, we should use this as a recruiting tool for urban farming. Forget milk and cheese — the chance to raise your own herd of haunted hell-goats is going to bring way more people into the fold.

Grist thanks its sponsors. Become one.