OK, boomers

👋 Hi, everybody! We are back with another column in our Ask a Climate Therapist series. This time, it’s a question-asker wondering how to communicate their sustainability values to their online shopping-obsessed mother. If you’ve ever struggled to bridge a difference of understanding between you and your parents — or any relative, friend, or loved one of a different generation — you’ll hopefully find something of value in Leslie’s advice.   

We’ve also got news this week about global protections for and from the changing seas. 

This post originally appeared in Grist’s weekly solutions newsletter, Looking Forward. Not on our list yet? Subscribe here to get it in your inbox every Friday.

My mom loves cheap online shopping. How can I talk to her about sustainability?

Grist / Getty Images

Dear Leslie,

I’ve noticed a real divide between my mindset and my mom’s. She’s a boomer, I’m a millennial. When she furnished her house through Amazon and Wayfair, the thing she was proudest of was how cheap it all was — same with clothes. For me, cheap usually means bad and disposable, not something worth bragging about. I don’t know whether to try explaining my point of view or just let her have hers. Am I missing something about where she’s coming from, or is it OK to think I know better here?

— Generational Divide

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Dear Generational Divide,

I’m glad you’re bringing curiosity to the divide you experience with your mom, rather than just frustration. I think the key here is not about who knows better, but about being able to build a cross-generational bridge — something absolutely crucial to the broader climate movement. 

As you likely know, a lot of boomers came of age in an era of real economic turbulence: oil-crisis inflation, layoffs, and mortgage rates that hit 18 percent in the early 1980s. Getting more for less was truly a survival strategy — one many of them absorbed at home first. Their own parents had lived through the Great Depression and World War II, and that generation’s habits of rationing, saving, and stretching every dollar shaped how boomers were raised. 

Our economic stressors — and our sources of bargains — have changed over time, but for some people, finding the best deal never stops feeling like a win.

Of course, this isn’t just a boomer impulse. A college student today who shops for a back-to-school outfit at H&M isn’t necessarily anti-sustainability or pro-fast fashion. Consumer choices are often about what’s within reach, not what a person truly values.

I’d recommend starting here: An empathic statement as simple as, “I get why that felt like a success for you” could validate your mom’s thinking on this, and from there it may be easier to have an honest conversation about why you would approach the home furnishing project, for instance, with different priorities. You might also be able to open the door to even more intergenerational learning. Try asking your mom what she used to make from scratch, or what her own mother taught her to fix instead of replace. The meaning of sustainability was different then; it was just how things were done. 

Finding an alignment with your mom matters beyond just resolving family tension, because intergenerational alliances carry real political weight. And the prevailing belief that older generations don’t care about the planet is overstated. Research from King’s College London found that roughly 7 in 10 people across every generation, boomers included, think that environmental problems are serious enough to justify real changes in how we live. But keep in mind, the actions taken by different age groups may be different. Research points to some general trends: Older people tend to be more consistent voters, while younger people are more likely to turn out for protests and the like (though some organizations are aiming to buck that trend by specifically mobilizing older Americans for climate activism).  

If sharing your sustainability values with your mom is important to you, look for the common ground where you can build that intergenerational solidarity. Try meeting each other halfway — share small things you each already do that are beneficial for the planet. If you’re open to learning from one another, you can invite each other in on your beliefs and practices. Two people, two generations — one relationship that’s worth the effort, and one planet worth uniting for.

In this with you,
Leslie

Ask a Climate Therapist is a special series from Grist, tackling your burning questions about climate change and mental health with licensed therapist Leslie Davenport. Do you have a question you’d like to see Leslie address in a future column? Submit it here.

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And finally, looking forward to …

… a future where technology (even digital shopping!) and sustainability can coexist. This solarpunk-style drabble was shared by Looking Forward reader Elise Wallace.   

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The delivery drone lands on the roof. A phone pings below and a woman sighs as she realizes the incorrect location of her package. 

It’s understandable, the entire city looks forested from above. Rooftops teem with plants. People don’t pay for petroleum-based roof shingles because plants grow for free. Trees grow through gaping cracks in the road. Driving is unnecessary because everyone orders online for drone delivery.

On the roof the woman carefully avoids the Wi-Fi transmitter poking through the grass. She grabs the box, clicks the drone’s “received” button and descends into her home for a video call.

— a drabble by Elise Wallace

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A drabble is a 100-word piece of fiction — in this case, offering a tiny glimpse of what a clean, green, just future might look like. Want to try writing your own (and see it featured in a future newsletter)? We would love to hear from you! Please send us your visions for our climate future, in drabble form, at [email protected]

👋 See you next week!