OK, fine — it’s not an official promo video. But those somber tunes? That slow, incessant trudge? Just throw in a few heckling skeptics, and it’s a pretty spot-on representation of our increasingly Sisyphean fight against time, corporate money, and the unpredictable wrath of Mother Nature.

But don’t give up! If you do — well, let’s not go there. Let’s go here, instead: