Disturbed by the recent tar-sands spills in Minnesota and Arkansas, Kryptonite lock company has decided to step up its efforts to protect the planet.

Today, the company offered corporate sponsorship to any of the Keystone XL pipeline protesters who raised the bar by chaining themselves to tar-sands equipment over the last year. (Needless to say, they’ve been burning through a lot of locks.)

“The people at Kryptonite have a pure passion for creating the best security in the world. And that includes creating security for the planet,” the company said in a statement. “We recognized the blockaders for their creative use of our product, and we wanted to encourage more of their important work. Plus, Kryptonite’s reinforced, anodyzed steel design resists removal 50 percent longer than competitors and is guaranteed to frustrate law enforcement.”

Grist thanks its sponsors. Become one.

They may seem like odd bedfellows, but Kryptonite’s products have already helped activists disrupt energy conferences and slow down pipeline construction.

The blockade reported that they were happy to have the power of so many locks behind them. Unconcerned about backlash over a corporate sponsor, the blockade emphasized the greater good. “Kryptonite U-locks protect our bikes from being re-liberated on city streets every day — why shouldn’t they protect our planet too?” activists said in a statement.

“We will use the master’s tools to lock down the master’s house.”

Grist thanks its sponsors. Become one.

No word yet on whether the makers behind Gorilla Glue might consider making a similar donation.

Update: Sorry, everybody, April Fool’s! 


Oh, and sorry to Kryptonite and its parent company (and drill manufacturer) Ingersoll Rand, too.