If the presidential candidates won’t listen to reason, maybe they’ll listen to a bunch of cute kids. The ones in this video are “scared” and “confused.” They don’t want to hear about religion, money, and how to kick foreigners out on their asses. They want to hear about the important stuff like climate change, poisoned drinking water, and honeybee die-offs. They want the candidates to talk SCIENCE.

That’s right — a petition on ScienceDebate.org is calling for these presidential wannabes to hold a science-themed debate about not only environmental issues, but also robots taking over our jobs, the war on drugs, access to healthy food, and alternative energy research.

Supporters can submit questions here — so far, they cover topics ranging from population growth and nuclear waste to the threat of emerging diseases and space exploration.

My personal favorite is: “What will you, as President, do to reduce the possibility of an impactor from space annihilating sentient life on our home planet, Earth?” Mostly because between humiliating 5th graders and tending bar on SNL, the candidates don’t really have time to talk about existential crises like climate change and antibiotic resistance, but they might make an exception for this one. After all, there’s nothing those true patriots like talking about more than getting rid of aliens and defending America.