Oh, Mitt Romney. You have such electable hair. So why do you want to waste it by doing things like believing in global warming? That's not how people become the Republican presidential nominee.

Yes, Mitt is apparently not participating in the traditional quadrennial GOP candidate 5K Fun Run Away From Anything That Sounds Mildly Liberal. On Friday, he reaffirmed his belief that a) the climate is changing and b) humans are responsible. He used to be a fan of cap-and-trade to address the problem, and once put a lot of money into instituting a cap-and-trade plan for the Northeastern states, but that one he's shied away from  – now he thinks it's bad business. Sort of like how he now thinks offering universal health coverage is a lousy idea

New theory: Mitt Romney's campaign website was actually a tip-off that he's identical twins. Going by the logo, one of them is named Omney. Omney believes in global warming and universal health care, and is constantly trying to trip up Mitt's presidential ambitions by making controversial statements like "maybe we should kill the Earth a little slower." This story has movie potential! A young Lindsay Lohan can star.