Tennis is classy. Poop is not classy. But still, people who play tennis do poop, which is why the Riverside Clay Tennis Organization is motivated to replace its insufficient porta-potties with amazing eco-friendly toilets that use human manure to feed flowers in Riverside Park.
These toilets are not mere places to drop the kids off at the pool. These toilets are gateways to beauty: The waste is composted and then pumped up to an elevated area, where it then fertilizes a delightful garden (which, as a bonus, will take over what’s currently a parking lot). Doesn’t that just make you feel good about taking a dump? Though we’re not crazy about the Riverside Clay Tennis Association’s slogan for the project, Recycle Yourself, which is not totally inaccurate but maybe a little gross or just too much reality for us. The really cool thing about this project is that it is self-contained. It won’t even be hooked up to the New York City sewer — all the waste is recycled and used on site. Innovations like this are not cheap — the project is going to cost $6 million, and has so far received a $1.2 million pledge from City Councilwoman Gale Brewer. McIntrye said RCTA hopes to raise $1.5 million from private donors and the rest from the government. So a ways to go to make this a reality, but definitely not a poop dream.