toilet_stalls
Jessamyn West

Of all the city-navigation sites and apps available — the ones that tell you where to eat, the ones that plot your bike route, the ones that tell you when the next train is coming — none is more likely to improve your New York experience than ToiletFinder.com, the site that tells you where to find a public toilet and how gross it’s likely to be. (You think I’m exaggerating? Sit around and age for a while, then get back to me.) And now, you can apply to make ToiletFinder even better — and earn some cash — by becoming a professional bathroomologist.

ToiletFinder currently features user reviews, like a kind of poop Yelp. But founder Michael Li has decided to class up the joint by hiring a professional writer to scour New York’s public pee spots. He’s offering $100 a day plus a share of Google AdSense profits for the successful candidate, who must be funny, college-educated, and willing to be a little disgusting. (And even if you don’t get the gig, he says he’ll pay $20 for a good review.) 

My dream, of course, is that a robust bathroom reviewing culture will lead to better facilities citywide, through a mix of public shaming and positive reinforcement. But who am I kidding — that’s as likely as someone offering like $3,000 a month for a humor writing job oh wait BRB updating my resume

Non-New York poopers/writers, don’t despair: Li has plans to expand ToiletFinder to other cities. Your big, gross break could be coming soon.