Bad news, consumers of sports culture: Marketers are going to assume you also love car culture (and sexism culture) basically until the world explodes and everyone is dead except Chevy owners and their dogs. But at least you can rant about it! To fuel today’s Twitter ire, here are some of the most irritating — from a “car ubiquity” perspective — spots from last night’s Super Bowl.

Possibly the world’s douchiest human. I feel like you could use the noises of this video to break up sinus blockage or rid your home of pests.

If you don’t drive a Chevy you will LITERALLY DIE IN THE APOCALYPSE. Apparently Chevrolet is soliciting a reputation as the Twinkie of cars.

I appreciate the sentiment, but is this a car ad or Clint Eastwood’s first campaign video? (Also, what does it mean for it to be halftime in America? Do we only get 236 more years? Do we get to watch a Madonna show?)

Ha ha that guy wants to fuck a car

On the plus side, this ad at least had some good ideas for alternative urban transportation:

And this one, about ocean conservation, is just cool: