If turducken didn’t spice up your Thanksgiving enough, fear not. The Daily Mail has cooked up some ideas for an exciting, or at least weird, bird. There’s barbecue turkey (meh), deep-fried turkey (getting somewhere), and best of all, dishwasher turkey! Look at that shine!

Apparently this is all you have to do:

  1. Get some turkey-sized oven bags at the grocery store
  2. Hermetically seal that birdie in there
  3. Toss it in the dishwasher for one 50-minute cycle per two pounds o’ turkey (yes, this makes cooking a big bird rather impractical)
  4. Make sure your turkey reaches 165 degrees F (use a meat thermometer) before enjoying
  5. Don’t tell your guests how you cooked it, or you’ll be eating alone

Unconvinced? The Daily Mail tested it out for you with promising results:

As a trial run, I cooked a 5-lb. supermarket chicken in the dishwasher last week and was impressed with the results: firm, tender, moist breast meat, without even a hint of the distinctive eau de dishwasher I had feared.

I gave it only two cycles, and finished the bird off in the oven to brown and crisp the skin.

Pshhh. Finished it off in the oven? Amateur. Isn’t that what the pots and pans cycle is for?