Your vag called. It wants its sensation back.
Sangudo
Your vagina called. It wants its sensation back.

Riding bikes is so fun! Except if you’re a guy — WINCE! Because guys have inflatable bananas in their pants, and bike seats, well, let’s just say they make a banana split. (Tune in next time, when I explain where babies come from: a peanut buster parfait!)

So as I was saying, biking sucks for guys. Thankfully, we ladies never experience pain from biking. Wait, what? I stand corrected. In not exactly the cracking-the-glass-ceiling news you were hoping for, bike seats now injure ladybits too:

Women cyclists who set their bikes’ handlebars lower than the saddle tended to show a degree of impaired genital sensation, researchers said.

Among 41 competitive cyclists, the 19 who rode bikes with relatively low handlebars had, on average, significantly higher vibratory thresholds in the anterior vagina, compared with riders whose handlebars were level with the bike saddle, according to Marsha K. Guess, MD, of Yale University, and colleagues.

While you’d think that anything combining “vibratory” and “vagina” would be fun, a new study in the Journal of Sexual Medicine indicates that nope, not so much. The study found that bike seats caused not only vaginal numbness, but also an increased risk of damage to the pelvic floor — which needs to be kept clear at all times for dancing, thanks. The two areas affected most were the anterior vagina and the left labia. Scientists have no idea why the right labia was fine; obviously more research is needed.

So while it may slow you down on the road, lowering your seat and raising your handlebars may help you win the Tour de France in your pants.