How interesting. Now please stay away from me.
How interesting. Now please stay away from me.

Have you ever been to Northern Sri Lanka? Well, if you haven’t, don’t go now, because they have just discovered a new type of tarantula there and the thing is fucking huge. Put it this way: If you put the thing on your face, and looked at yourself in the mirror, all you would see is spider body, spider legs, and one terrified human eye.

The new spider is from the genus Poecilotheria, which is fast, colorful, and poisonous. The reason this one gets to be a brand-new species is because of a) its size (its legspan is eight inches across) and b) its markings — on its belly and legs are ornate patterns of yellow and gray.

They found this spider, which will be named Poecilotheria rajaei after a local policeman, in an old office building. The species prefers old trees, but due to deforestation the number of old trees has dwindled. So they have to settle for old office buildings. Kind of sad. P. rajaei will just have to drown his sorrows in eating small snakes, birds, and mice, and hopefully not your head.