futurama_worms

I didn’t want to write about this story. It’s too horrible. But the blood worms made me write it. I cannot resist the blood worms. They may already be in your water. They may already be inside you. DON’T YOU WANT THE BLOOD WORMS INSIDE YOU? LET THE BLOOD WORMS IN.

Ahem. The point is that the town of Colcord, Okla., has had these small red worms — actually fly larvae — start showing up in its tap water. They’re probably not harmful to ingest (they’re actually sold as fish food, although granted fish eat lots of stuff you wouldn’t), but they’re super gross — and really, really difficult to get rid of.

“The chlorine won’t kill them, the bleach won’t kill them,” Cody Gibby, the town’s water commissioner, told a local TV network. “You can take the worms out of the filter system and put them in a straight cup of bleach and leave them in there for about four hours, and they still won’t die.”

WHY WOULD YOU KILL BLOOD WORMS. BLOOD WORMS ARE DELICIOUS. BLOOD WORMS ONLY WANT TO LOVE YOU.

Colcord officials are having everyone drink bottled water until the blood worm plague is dealt with. Which will work fine until the blood worms take over the water bottling companies. SUBMIT TO THE BLOOD WORMS.