Rivers are so cool. You can boat on them, swim in them, jump into them from rope swings while stoned and wearing jorts. But haven't you always wanted to grab a drink with a river? Introduce it to your girlfriend, see if it wants to come with you to see Merle Haggard? Well, New Zealand's Whanganui River is officially a person now, so go ahead.
To be fair, the river might still have a hard time drinking a beer. But it does get some legal benefits for being a person, such as official custodians -- New Zealand's government and the indigenous Whanganui iwi -- and status as "an integrated, living whole," i.e. don't treat it like a toilet for fertilizer. We assume it will also be able to influence American elections, since that's what happened last time a non-person got legal personhood status.