To be fair, the country's already most of the way there.
Thanks to a secret government nuclear facility, Lake Karachay may be the most polluted spot on the planet.
Texas is having a very big problems with crickets and it's not just that the crickets are really gross, it's that when they die, they smell really bad.
It's getting harder to tell when dairy cows are in heat. But never fear, farmers! Now their genitals can text you.
Supposedly this weird living bacon is actually a moth caterpillar. Made of bacon.
Although volunteers have visited more than a third of the accessible confluence points, there are 10,166 out there waiting to be visited.
McDonald's makes a video to show people that their beef is as pure as the driven snow, and even includes a few lol questions from wary consumers.
What would you think if you saw a giant wall of doom-bubbles advancing on you down the river? PANIC.
Culver City, Calif., where the Wizard of Oz was filmed, is getting an infusion of magic and hope in the form of a 100,000-pound rainbow.
We've devised the world's shortest survey to find out what kind of actions our readers are taking. You know you want to.