Channel News Asia
It’s the new cool thing to grow up and down.

You might just think of Singapore as a place where you should think twice about tossing a piece of gum into a public fountain lest you find yourself unable to sit down for a week or two. Well, the caning capital of the world now has another, less upsetting claim to fame (cane to fame? My God, I am HILARIOUS): It has opened the world’s first commercial vertical farm.

The farm consists of 130 towers about 30 feet high. In these towers, they are able to grow half a ton of produce, which will ramp up to 2.2 tons by next year. The farm produces three kinds of vegetables, though for some reason an exhaustive Google search has not yielded any information about what the fuck kind of vegetables they are. Maybe it is some kind of state secret. I think I saw what looked like lettuce in one photo, but I could be wrong, and certainly under interrogation I would be willing to deny having identified lettuce or for that matter anything else.

All kidding aside, it’s pretty awesome that they’re going to start producing vegetables in Singapore, because the country imports almost all of them, which uses a lot of gas and is just stupid if they can figure out how to grow vegetables there. And of course fresher vegetables that didn’t have to be shipped long distances will have higher nutritional content, and when the body gets more vitamins and minerals, aggression can decrease. So, you know, maybe the next time you visit Singapore, you can do something wrong and someone will just say, “Hey, man, that wasn’t cool.”