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Q. Dear Umbra,

What do I do with a million unwanted stuffed animals? My kids have amassed a monstrous menagerie of “stuffies,” as they call them. During a recent move, my wife and I managed to stealth away about a quarter of the 125 creatures. But now what? Goodwill doesn’t take stuffed animals. I hate to throw them away, but for the sake of my own sanity and local health codes, they have to go. To quote a Bear of Very Little Brain, “Oh, help!”

Seattle, Wash.

Photo by Shutterstock.

A. Dearest Greg,

Before we dig into the seamy underbelly of stuffed animal disposal, I must point out that the key to reducing waste is reducing consumption in the first place — though I’m sure you didn’t buy each of the 125 stuffies littering your home. I remember presenting a small stuffed souvenir to a young family member whose mother looked at me, aghast: “I thought you, of all people, would understand.” Cuddly creatures do have a way of piling up — in our homes and in our landfills.