Please eat no more than six-sevenths of this animal. Thanks.

I’m going to begin with a caveat: Beef magazine is a real thing and it is perfectly safe for work.

Yesterday, Beef (“the nation’s leading cattle publication,” meaning about cattle, not by) reported on a tempest in a Crock-pot: The U.S. Department of Agriculture (USDA) was suggesting people not eat meat.

Now, to clarify, they weren’t saying everyone shouldn’t eat meat, nor were they saying that people shouldn’t eat meat all the time. The agency simply posted an interoffice newsletter that suggested, for purposes of reducing one’s environmental footprint, that employees consider having a “Meatless Monday.”