Basically all I want to do in my life is lie on a giant dog while snuggling giant dog babies — and if this story is any indication, that may be hardwired in my genes from, like, Australopithecine times. At any rate, this baby chimp seems to have the same instinct.

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The little dude, whose name I have not been able to hunt down but I think he should be called Colin, was reportedly abandoned by his mother at a Russian zoo. One of the zookeepers took him home to live with her mastiff and her mastiff puppies, at which point Colin promptly decided he was a dog. As would we all, if given the chance.

Here’s a day in the life of Colin and his adopted family.

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Breakfast.


“And then Michaela was like ‘well I like him too,’ and I was like ‘but you don’t LIKE like him,’ and she was like … ”


“What’s got no thumbs and is solely responsible for that unholy mess in the kitchen?”


“Your pedi looks great, Mom, really.”

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Bed.