Lululemon, which makes overpriced yoga clothes, used to give customers the option to purchase sustainable shopping bags printed with the company's "manifesto." (It's not the one above; that's a parody.) That meant they were covered in quotes that were a mix of faux-Buddhism, The Secret, Dove Promises wrappers, and complete nonsense ("children are the orgasm of life"?). Included among the dippy maxims: "What we do to the earth, we do to ourselves."

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Yeah, well, enough of that treehugger nonsense! Now Lululemon has gone full Randroid, emblazoning their reusable bags with Atlas Shrugged tagline "Who Is John Galt?" What the … would John Galt even pay for a reusable bag? Disposable plastic is good enough if you don't give a crap about anybody but yourself.

If you've got the funds to spend nearly $100 on workout pants just because they make your butt look good, Objectivism might be kind of appealing in this economy — it's all about how you should be able to cling to your outsize wads of cash. Hell, the Tea Party loves Rand, and most of them aren't wearing $100 pants; they just think they might wear them someday. But if times are so tough that even the yoga hippies are abandoning vague green sentiment, we might need to send in reinforcements. Occupy yoga studios!