Yes, yes — we know we’re having quite the Jon Stewart lovefest up in Grist. And we know we’re starting to sound like gooey, insufferable high school seniors who are just so sure their love will last through college.

But look, if Bobby Templeton could verbally body-slam every hypocritical politician who rails about protecting Americans from the statistically remote threats of Ebola or ISIS while poo-pooing clear and present dangers like climate change and guns in front of a rapt audience of millions WE WOULD HAVE LASTED.

I still love you, Bobby. I just need to be with Jon.