Soda Drinker Pro is the most advanced soda drinking simulator ever created
Given the amount of time and effort that people put into video games, it’s really too bad that most of the skills don’t translate into real life. Chances are you’ll never have to kill Reapers or deploy Weighted Companion Cubes as part of your daily routine, and I hate to break it to you, but you’re not learning any actual guitar hero skills from Guitar Hero. Even worse, if you already have guitar chops, you’ll probably do shitty at the game. But with Soda Drinker Pro, you can finally apply your real-life expertise to a video game, plus use it to build up skills you’ll actually need.
That’s because Soda Drinker Pro is the world’s most advanced FPS, or first-person soda, game. You use your left mouse button to bring the soda to your mouth, the right mouse button to sip through the straw, and other than that you basically stumble through a low-polygon world picking up supplementary sodas. In other words, it’s not unlike your actual life — unless you live in New York City, in which case it’s an extended exercise in wish fulfillment. The game’s developer, Will Brierly, describes its genesis thus: “One day, about six or seven years ago, I woke up at four in the morning with a spark of inspiration and feeling very, very thirsty.”
Here’s a review of the game, including the very important caveat “if you thought this was a serious game, please, please go away.”