1. Jessica and Ashlee not included

    Universal Studios is launching a Simpsons-themed ride, but don’t have a cow, man! It uses LED lighting and energy-efficient electronics — so it’s as green as Ned Flanders’ sweater. Ay, caramba! Though, not, of course, as green as having no ride at all … D’oh!

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  2. Can’t see the chest hair for the trees

    Looking for the best way to “showcase the pain involved in deforestation”? Hairy Harrison suggests a nice chest wax.

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  3. More than we can stomach

    Oh, PETA, lettuce say this: the half-naked chick thing? Getting a bit old. Especially when they’re half-naked chicks with gas.

  4. The three ρ’s

    Meet Green the Greeks (not to be confused with Green the Geeks, obvi), one of many campus groups pledging to make their fellow frats and sororities more sustainable. First up on the to-do list? Filling recycled plastic beer bongs with organic brew.

  5. Watch out for the carpal tunnels

    Who needs fossil fuels when you’ve got a rolly desk chair?

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