Just don’t hit eject
Overpopulation give you pause? Then give it pause, boys, with a remote control that halts sperm in its tracks. Perfect for dates on fast-forward — though it does involve microchipping your manhood. But did we mention the remote control?
Booty call to action
If you’re bummed about climate change, panty up for some eco-skivvies. Made in the world’s first carbon-neutral clothing factory, these thongs feel so right.
Staycation: all we ever wanted
It’s the summer of staycations: folks are choosing patio tables over tray tables, backyard pools over exotic cruises, and “well, here we are” over “are we there yet?” The reason may be more gas prices than CO2 emissions, but we’re not complaining.
The hot thickens
Do not adjust your television set. What you are seeing is making “green” normal. Well, if Bill Nye the Science Guy counts as normal, anyway.