1. Rubbed the wrong way

    Climate-change impact aside, here’s another reason not to have meat in the house: “The victims told deputies they awoke Saturday morning to the stranger applying spices to one of them and striking the other with an 8-inch sausage.”

  2. The Iceman steameth

    Seems Mr. Kilmer is making a Val-iant effort to bring global warming to the big screen: This summer, he faced the thaw of death; now, he’s taking hostages in a Turkish bathhouse for a steamy experiment. How hot will it be? We haven’t the foggiest.

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  3. Roads scholar

    This retro-awesome time-killer is all the fun of Oregon Trail with none of the dysentery. Here’s a tip: in this game (as in life), it pays to pick the hybrid.

  4. Green and bear it

    Frustrated by climate slackerness on the part of humans, polar bears have decided to go green.

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  5. Weeping willow

    OK, we like trees. We really do. We hate to see them cut down. But this is just a little sappy.